To Give Up or Not? An Open Letter To Parents with Justice-Involved Teens

Dear Parents,
Teenage years can be the most tumultuous times for parents and families. However, this is nothing new. The on again off again chaotic interactions of parent versus child often impair the family unit.
When parents are blindsided by gone-astray youth, not knowing what or who to ask causes a strain on everyone. The biggest complaint I receive is that parents don’t know what to ask when experiencing a traumatic crisis. The desire to flee from their environment is the greatest urge most parents feel.
However, most stay and I call it operating under a symptom called “functional numbness”. Meaning parents are physically present, but can be emotionally detached from their teens’ problems. Some consider it self-preservation.
As parents, we have to decide whether or not we want to be “right or happy.” This was and continues to be one of Dr. Phil’s mantras. Yet, it took me some time to incorporate it into my ongoing exchanges of my own.

Parents: our youth are bombarded with a plethora of enticing images that can lure them away from families. This indoctrinated “fast food” mentality cultivates an insatiable need for more dissatisfaction and negative behaviors. Unfortunately, this can lead to self-destructive acts. Therefore, parents, we are the individuals with the power.
Yes, times have changed. We cannot silently or blindly enter into our teens’ lives as our parents did. Parent engagement is vital to the success and healing of families, today. It only takes one family at a time to begin to heal. However a few things to consider:
•Begin to work on healing your past hurts and trauma;
•Forgive your child of his/her past behaviors;
•Set aside quality time for the family and individually;
•Get involved not only in your youth’s life, but also their friends’ extra curricula activities;
•Volunteer in your community;
•Never give up…pray, pray, pray.

Sadric Bonner is the CEO of a nonprofit organization, Great Expectations. She recently received her credentials as a Certified Parent Support Provider (CPSP), and started the Women’s International Sovereignty of Hope, (WISH). She credits her experiences as a parent first including professional achievements acquired by being fully engaged, via constant appearances at school, trainings in community initiatives, and workshops. Lastly, Ms. Bonner has developed programs for boys and training workshops for the community.